My gifting mantra has always been “if I see something that person X will like, I buy it and give it to them”. Not that gifts aren’t one of my five love languages (they’re low but in there (#4) if you were wondering), it’s just that I can’t stand the “forced gift” mentality. So I decided to do something about it…Here is the ultimate solution to the “what do you want for <cultural “I should buy a present for Brian” reference> problem. The flowchart:

  1. Do nothing. Really. I promise that I won’t be offended… Really.
  2. If step one isn’t sufficient, I request that you donate money to a charitable organization who’s goal is the furtherance of God’s kingdom. Here are a few that particularly stand out in that regard: (You can even write it off on your taxes!)
  1. 3. If you would rather I decide what to do with the money, cash is never a bad thing. Money can be deposited in my Paypal account for free as long as you also have a “personal” account.
  2. 4. If you insist on purchasing something for me directly, here is a list of items that I actually want. There’s a mix of “I’ve been too lazy to actually get that” and “maybe it will be worth it when the price drops” items:
  3. 5. If nothing on the above list seems like a good gift or costs too much (I tend to purchase few, expensive things), then please follow these guidelines when considering something else:
  • Is it small? (I have *very* little space - a 12′x20′ room for *everything*)
  • Is it useful? (I live for efficiency and can’t stand “pointless” things)
  • Is it geeky? (Chances are much higher that I’ll like it if it is)
  • Does it require maintenance? (I watered the plants last month, or was that 2 months ago…)

My hope in all this is to increase the efficacy of the whole capitalist-induced “requirement” of gifting. I normally can’t stand registries and the like, but I’ve had so many people insist on purchasing things for me (even after suggesting items one and two above), that I felt this page was necessary. Please don’t be offended by the “structure” of this. Again, the efficiency thing